My wife wanted exercise equipment for her birthday. I got her a vacuum cleaner.
Someone stole my dictionary. I'm at a loss for words.
I tried to borrow money from a midget but he was a "little short."
I like to talk after making love. I usually call my wife.
Experience: the ability to recognize your mistakes as you repeat them over and over.
Person who cooks beans and peas in same pot is unsanitary.
Good news: The doctor said I have 24 hours to live. Bad news: He's been trying to reach me for the last 3 days.
I purchased a Butterfinger candy bar at the grocery store. I dropped it.
You may be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife.
A "dead battery" walks into a bar and says, "How much for a beer? "For you," the bartender says, "no charge."
After lengthy negotiations and a brief strike, Vlasic and the pickle union agreed to a new dill.
Q. In Australia, what do they call a boomerang that doesn't return?
A. A stick.
A. A stick.
Strobe lights in the bedroom are great. My wife looks like she's moving during sex.
Q. Why did the blind man fall in the well?
A. Because he couldn't see that well.
A. Because he couldn't see that well.
The first time, my wife wouldn't make love with the lights on. I closed the car door.
I'm sentimental about my furniture. My recliner and I go way back.
Here lies Les Moore
Shot with a .44
No Les
No Moore
Shot with a .44
No Les
No Moore
*One-liners and short jokes, old and new, are presented to a diverse demographic audience of FACEBOOK users. Their replies, non-replies, and comments to each joke are recorded, tabulated, and statistically scored. Scores are inputted in a scientifically formulated algorithm that rates each joke as Liked or Loved, or neither. Presented here are the best of each.
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-The best "LOVED" one-liners and short jokes on FACEBOOK!-
